Survivors Guilt

It be so much shit on my mental

I been waking up regretting what I've been through

On a good day I’m scared to be grateful

Too much smiling then a storm come & drench you

Too much loving then ya heart beat against you

I been sitting with some shit I can not get thru kinda hard to see the light can’t get the visual

But

Steadily walking thru the dark, ain’t that faithful?

Damn I gotta squeeze time in my schedule

They be saying “it’s the only thing that heals you”

Or reveals you.... ???

My crown nearly split

The more I breathe in the heavier it gets

Roll my trees up, I gotta take a trip

Reality won’t let me catch a grip

Lost my mother & my brother, my mind been idle since

Never thought I’d feel the guilt of surviving it.